Contz

Sixty or so years ago, the Los Angeles Rams’ Deacon Jones popularized an effective pass rush move called “the head slap” — a violent, open-handed swat intended to dislodge an offensive linemen’s head from his upper torso.

Responding in kind, many blockers reversed the screws in their helmets which resulted in nasty puncture wounds to Jones’ (and others) hands.

Tactics like these from otherwise evil, mean-spirited defensive linemen are nothing new as this species has resorted to many questionable practices to gain an edge on their offensive counterparts.

Being an offensive lineman, I contend this is likely due to their radically inferior intellect.

Football season is now in full swing, and less than a week removed from Labor Day, fans witnessed two separate instances where these undisciplined savages lost their composure and cost teams their services.

The NFL season began last Thursday night in Philadelphia where prior to the first official play from scrimmage, a defensive player was suspended.

While Eagle medical staffers tended to a special teamer injured on the opening kickoff, Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott eschewed the cozy confines of his own huddle to venture forth and engage in brief dialogue with Jalen Carter, the Birds’ behemoth run-stopper.

The former Georgia Bulldog evidently took issue with what the former Mississippi State Bulldog had to say and promptly dispensed the mucous that was presently lodged in his upper trachea.

The City of Brotherly Love? No way, especially when Dallas is in town.

This Prescott-Carter encounter (sounds like some historic landmark outside Williamsburg, doesn’t it?) wasn’t the only fun- with-phlegm football fans fawned over.

Less than 48 hours later, Florida Gator defensive lineman Brendan Bett felt it necessary to hawk a loogie in the general direction of an unsuspecting South Florida lineman late in the final quarter of his team’s 18-16 upset loss to the underdog Bulls.

Both incidents force me to ponder the following:

Has spitting become the millennial version of the head slap? Have we devolved from “expect the unexpected” to “expect the expectorate?”

While the NFL will never condone the voluntary and willful secretion of bodily fluids during play, it is nonetheless permissive of uncontrolled upchucking as evidenced by Donovan McNabb’s unpenalized projectile vomiting during an Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl a few years back.

In contrast, baseball deems the voluntary disbursement of saliva acceptable as long as there is no direct contact with an opposing player.

In a different era, the substance was even considered an effective tool to deter scoring.

Google tells us the Spitball or “spitter” was officially banned from baseball in 1920. However, by the late ’60s as many as 25% of the league’s hurlers, including future Hall of Famers Don Drysdale and Gaylord Perry, occasionally relied on the pitch to baffle hitters.

Present day ballplayers continue to openly expel tobacco juice or spent sunflower seeds though rarely at each other.

Short of muzzling all defensive linemen (something I favor), blockers would do well to deploy facial shields to protect themselves from these plus-sized, spittle-spewing sack specialists.

Contz was a starting offensive tackle on Penn State’s first national championship team in 1982 and played six NFL seasons with New Orleans and Cleveland. He published a book in 2017, “When the Lions Roared: Joe Paterno and One of College Football’s Greatest Teams.” He resides in Pittsburgh.