Gibbons’ subsequent evacuation took him away from his soldier teammates, cutting him off from their protective camaraderie and triggering years of anxiety and anger, during which he believed that family members, friends, fellow service members and medical providers couldn’t understand how he felt — and didn’t care to understand.

Considering himself abandoned, thinking dark thoughts, hiding from people he thought were doing him injustice, struggling to figure out what to make of himself, Gibbons would travel up and down I-99 between State College and Altoona, planning where to turn off the highway, undo his seatbelt, go through an opening in the guardrail, plunge down into the woods and “lights out,” he said Friday, working at a table near the Vietnam War memorial as part of the hospital’s annual Suicide Prevention Walk and resource fair.

Gibbons, though, had responsibilities and those helped keep him on the roadway. He eventually got help at the hospital where he now works, from people who did what he does now — social workers who encouraged him to realize that if he became more vocal about his feelings, others would open up, and that his anger and resentment of them had been keeping him from experiencing their understanding — an understanding that neutralized his bad feelings.

Gibbons now uses his struggles to help the people he counsels, and sometimes it helps them.

Van Zandt VA Medical Center hosted its annual Suicide Prevention Walk and resource fair on Friday. Mirror photo by William Kibler

“(But) if it fails, try something else,” he said. “Tomorrow, we can work on feeling different.”

It took him a long time to learn, Gibbons said.

At 26, newly wounded, he was virtually a “baby,” trying to work out what for him was a crazy and catastrophic experience, he said.

Friday’s event was intended to raise awareness and reduce the stigma over mental health issues, said hospital spokeswoman Rachel Prichard.

The VA has developed a suicide prevention program involving coordinators at the hospital who develop county-based “coalitions” that include not only VA and state Department of Military and Veterans Affairs personnel and willing veterans, but also representatives of social service agencies and medical providers.

Impetus for the program was the realization that two-thirds of those veterans dying from suicide were not enrolled at VA hospitals, said Leah Hmel, community engagement and partnerships coordinator for the hospital.

The program holds community education events at facilities run by veterans organizations, conducts trainings and promotes practices like safe storage of firearms, according to Kate Gavin, one of seven suicide prevention coordinators at Van Zandt, which serves a 14-county area.

The program attempts to meet veterans “where they’re at,” said hospital spokeswoman Rachel Prichard.

Individuals in need encountered by the program are directed to the VA if they qualify for help there and to community professional care if they do not.

That can include nonveterans.

Mirror Staff Writer William Kibler is at 814-949-7038.

Lifelines

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 988.

A Blair County lifeline is 814-946-2141.