Dear Annie: Every year, around Memorial Day, I tell myself this will be the summer we slow down. I picture lazy mornings, dinners outside, long walks after sunset and maybe even reading a book that is not interrupted every three minutes.

Then somehow, by the second week of June, my calendar looks like it was planned by a cruise director with a caffeine problem. There are family visits, graduation parties, barbecues, kids’ sports, camp forms, beach weekends, house projects and friends saying, “Let’s definitely get together soon,” which apparently means finding one open Tuesday in August.

Last weekend, I spent two hours packing for a “relaxing” beach day: towels, chairs, snacks, sunscreen, hats, water bottles, extra clothes and enough sandwiches to feed a marching band. By the time we got there, someone was hungry, someone was hot, someone forgot goggles, and I was already fantasizing about going home.

Meanwhile, social media is full of people posting golden-hour photos with captions like “simple summer joys,” while I am sweating in a grocery store wondering why I agreed to host 18 people for dinner.

I love my family and friends, and I do want to make memories. But I am tired of feeling like summer only counts if every weekend is packed and every moment is picture-perfect.

How do I enjoy the season without turning it into a performance? — Sunburned and Scheduled

Dear Sunburned and Scheduled: Summer is supposed to be a season, not a second career. Pick a few things that truly matter, leave some weekends gloriously unplanned, and remember that children often remember sprinkler afternoons and ice cream cones just as much as elaborate outings.

Memories do not need a packed cooler, a perfect sunset or photographic evidence. Sometimes the best summer plan is saying no, sitting down and letting the lemonade sweat instead of you.

Dear Annie: My best friend has become impossible to make plans with. She cancels at the last minute, usually with a vague excuse, then acts hurt when I stop inviting her. Last weekend, I made dinner reservations for four, and she texted 20 minutes before that she “wasn’t up for it.” This has happened so many times that I now feel foolish counting on her.

I love her and know she may be going through something, but I’m tired of rearranging my life around someone who treats my time like a suggestion. How do I stay kind without becoming a doormat? — Tired of Being Canceled on

Dear Tired: Kindness does not require you to keep a standing reservation for disappointment. Tell your friend you care about her, but last-minute cancellations have become hurtful and inconvenient. Keep inviting her when you truly want to, but make plans that do not depend on her showing up. Boundaries are not punishment; they are how friendships survive reality.

“Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness” is out now! Annie Lane’s third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged — because forgiveness isn’t for them. It’s for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial.