Football characters were full of quips
In last month’s column, some of baseball’s funniest and most colorful characters were explored.
It’s time to give equal billing to a handful of football’s wild, witty, and wonderful characters.
Start with a former Pittsburgh Steeler (1961 and 1962), Pro Bowl defensive lineman Gene Lipscomb.
He wasn’t called “Big Daddy” for nothing — he went 6-foot-6, and he made scales groan under his 284 pounds.
This was back in an era when players anywhere near 300 pounds were pretty rare.
One-time Baltimore teammate Raymond Berry said, “He was quick with great upper body strength, a heckuva defensive tackle.”
Intimidating in every way, he was a fierce tackler. One time he explained his style of bringing opposing players down.
“I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel ’em off one by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him I keep.”
Texas native and Dallas Cowboys quarterback “Dandy” Don Meredith had a great sense of humor.
Coveted by a slew of colleges coaches, he opted to go to Southern Methodist University — or, simply, SMU. He explained his decision to attend that university by saying, “It was close to home and easy to spell.”
During Monday Night Football’s first-ever broadcast back in 1970, he provided the color commentary for the New York Jets versus the Cleveland Browns clash.
After Fair Hooker, a Cleveland receiver, hauled in a pass, Meredith commented, “Isn’t Fair Hooker a great name?”
Then, pushing the envelope, he added, “I haven’t met one yet.”
Meredith’s mind truly did work quickly and in a most uninhibited manner.
One sportswriter said proof of Meredith’s nimble ways came when a wide receiver who had just come back to play after suffering from a bout with the flu ran a long pass route.
Apparently he was not fully recovered from his illness and, right there on live television, he threw up.
Meredith deadpanned, “Now there’s something you don’t see on TV every day.”
Many fans know Steve Spurrier for his college coaching exploits, but he was an NFL quarterback for 10 seasons.
Once he was telling fans of his Florida Seminoles team about a fire at Auburn’s football dormitory, one which had destroyed 20 books.
“But the real tragedy,” he quipped, “was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”
Yet another NFL quarterback, John Brodie was capable of tossing out funny lines. When he was a quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, he was used as the holder on extra point and field goal attempts.
When asked by a reporter why such a highly-paid, valuable quarterback had to hold the football on kicks, Brodie deadpanned, “Well, if I didn’t, it would fall over.”
Finally, a tale of a legendary NFL coach and one of his players who strayed a bit.
Max McGee was a split end for Vince Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers, one who came up big for him in Super Bowl I. He snagged two touchdown passes from Bart Starr and amassed 138 yards on seven catches.
By the way, in the regular season, the aging McGee had caught just four passes and had scored only one touchdown. In fact, the 34-year-old McGee wasn’t even a starter all season long.
Even though he was so instrumental in the Green Bay 35-10 win over the AFL champion Kansas City Chiefs, Lombardi played no favorites.
As a strong disciplinarian with virtually unlimited power, he felt free to dish out stiff penalties, and he once hit McGee with a then-stinging fine of $250 for breaking curfew.
The next time he caught McGee breaking his curfew rule, he upped it to a $500 fine and admonished him, “And the next time it’ll be $1,000. And if you find anything worth $1,000, let me know and I may go with you.”
These stories come from Wayne Stewart’s book “Remembering the Stars of the NFL Glory Years.” The book is available on line at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.