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By Bill Contz
For the Mirror
College football's annual calendar now includes a shiny new entry, one which commences right after Rivalry Week then continues throughout Championship Week and beyond.
Coach Pilfering Season (CPS for short) is a frenzied, cut-throat bidding war for current top talent and shatters any remaining myth that a coach's loyalty lies with the school that currently employs them.
And our inaugural CPS is certainly off to a raucous start.
Aggressive boosters in the Bayou have ensured that Irish eyes won't be smiling anytime soon while Tommy Trojan and his chariot have overtaken the clunky and cumbersome Boomer Schooner down the stretch to win the Lincoln Riley sweepstakes by several lengths.
Evidently heavyweight decision makers at many Power 5 schools who have fallen on hard times recently are singing a new holiday tune, something to the effect of:
‘Tis the season to spend money fa la la la la la la la…
skies above will soon be sunny fa la la la la la la la…
Don we now a 10-year contract … Well you get the gist.
Riley's exit from Norman was predictable given Oklahoma's decision to join the SEC.
Rather than subject himself to what would amount to annual water torture from Nick Saban and Kirby Smart, Riley will unleash his high-octane offense on an otherwise weak Pac-12, where his biggest threat is temporary retinal damage from the Oregon Ducks' fluorescent uniforms.
Brian Kelly's choice to vacate his "dream job" and head to Death Valley appears to be a lateral move in terms of both schedule difficulty and public scrutiny.
He'll trade nationally televised prime-time contests for more regional wars with the likes of Alabama and Georgia. Kelly also swaps out having to appease the insatiable subway alumni for the perennial dissatisfaction of LSU fans.
Did someone say inflation? The new going rate for guys like Riley and Kelly as well lesser-tenured portal manipulators like Michigan State's Mel Turner has risen faster than California gas prices.
This madness began when Texas A&M lured Jimbo Fisher away from Florida State and has since created a domino effect.
Athletic directors under pressure from deep-pocketed alumni to return their programs to glory now dangle buyout-friendly deals -- including to Penn State's James Franklin -- that aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
What is most disturbing is these agreements are now signed, sealed and delivered well before bowl invitations are issued.
At some point, a line must be drawn in the sand with sanctions (let's call them Contz-equences) levied to deter this type of behavior.
Here are three:
Any D-1 institution that coerces anyone currently serving as the head coach at another Power 5 school should be banned from the College Football Playoff for the next two years.
Any collegiate player who signed a letter-of-intent while under the departing coach's regime immediately enters the transfer portal.
No high school recruit can decommit and follow the departing coach to the new school.
These athletic directors, school presidents and trustees are essentially signing blank checks in an effort to get their schools into a playoff where their conference receives a cool six million for each team that participates.
Maybe the decision makers who approve these ridiculous contracts that include lucrative buyout clauses should share equally in the cost of those clauses.
All hail the newborn baby CPS.
Contz was a starting offensive tackle on Penn State's first national championship team in 1982 and played six NFL seasons with New Orleans and Cleveland. He published a book in 2017, "When the Lions Roared: Joe Paterno and One of College Football's Greatest Teams." He resides in Pittsburgh.