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The two most popular forms of public, personal, written communications are bumper stickers and T-shirt slogans. Everyone has seen a child wearing a T-shirt that proclaims, "My Parents (or Grandparents) Visited (pick a place -- the Grand Canyon, Atlantic City, wherever) and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt."
Cute, eh?
Can a T-shirt slogan undermine democracy? The Urban Outfitters Company produced a youth-oriented, silk-screened T-shirt that boasted "Voting is for OLD PEOPLE." The media and pundit class jumped all over the company for discouraging voting by 18-29 year olds.
"Not so," says John Deddie, 25, who designed the shirt and coined the slogan. "I think the shirt is funny. It's meant to be a joke. People took it the wrong way."
Did he vote in the last general election? "No, but I intend to vote next November."
Another exception is a tee that is emblazoned with the names and mascots for Penn State and the University of Wisconsin. The shirt was created to commemorate a football game between the two schools at State College several years ago. I bought the shirt on sale several years later just because it featured the two schools I attended for undergraduate and post-graduate studies. I am surprised at the number of people at supermarket checkout lines who volunteer the information that they, too, attended one or the other.
Most T-shirts have a humorous slogan. Here are some that got a chuckle from me:
"Sex Is Like Air: It's Not Important Unless You Aren't Getting Any."
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
"Vini, Vidi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping."
"I Have the Body of a God: Unfortunately, It's Buddha."
"I Used Up All My Sick Days, So I'm Calling in Dead."
"Ex-Wife For Sale: Just Take Over Payments."
"I got This Shirt When I Turned 40: I HATE This Shirt."
"I'd Quit My Job But I Need the Sleep."
Other T-shirt announcements take a moment to ponder.
"Women Who Seek to be Equal to Men Lack Ambition."
"Dyslexics Have More Fnu."
"Four Year of College and Whom Did It Get Me."
(On a person with a serious beer belly). "Objects Under this T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear."
Here is a special favorite: "I Am a Bomb Technician: If You See Me Running, You Should Keep Up."
My all-time favorite slogan is not a bumper sticker or T-shirt pronouncement. It is a warning sign in the waiting room of a Springfield, Virginia, auto shop that was owned by Ezra Stern, a native of Morrisons Cove.
"I shoot every fifth salesman. Number four just left."