It’s always a wonderful time of year in the Franco household
I am definitely at the age where I really enjoy giving my family Christmas presents more than I do receiving them. I never would have believed that years ago.
It’s a little harder to purchase gifts for grownup kids than young children, but gift certificates are still a nice present, even if in my head I feel like I sometimes am letting them down.
But you know who I don’t worry about letting down at the holidays, my best friend, who I told a little over a month ago that I was going to include him in my December column: John Dibert.
Friends since our freshman year in high school, John and I used to get presents for each other for a short time, before we got married and had children who were more in need of those funds than each other. I love the guy. I just can’t afford to get him a Christmas present. And to show him it is not just a Christmas thing, I never buy him a birthday present either. Of course, that’s because I can never remember when it is, other than it is somewhere in the month of January, toward the back end of the month.
The Christmas gift thing was only for a few years, but my favorite present of all time still was a giant stuffed ALF from the 1980s TV show “ALF” that I got him one year.
We used to watch the show in college together, and you either loved the show or hated it. I found out later in life that John not only hated the show but hated my gift. I, on the other hand, loved the show and the gift. I can’t remember if he still has it, but he accepted it so, what was I supposed to think?
And since I know you are reading this, you can regift me the ALF and I will think no less of you because … well, it’s free and it’s a gift, and I still won’t have to get you anything.
But you know what is a gift that he and I still give to each other after 45 years of friendship? A refusal to watch pro football together during the season.
He loves the Steelers. I do not. I love the Dolphins. He is like most Steelers fans … loves his team, doesn’t care about the rest of the league. And I type that with great love and respect.
Same for our college teams, Penn State for him (Blech!) and Illinois for me (Why?!). I do not invite him over to watch football on Saturday and Sundays, and he does not invite me over either, and it’s because we are such good friends, we don’t want to spoil the others’ weekend.
That’s love folks. No kidding.
We call each other every weekend to brag about not inviting the other over to watch football, and we both stand by it. Again, nothing says I love you to a great friend than staying away from my home for five months..
I hear stories, and have read stories, about people who watch their favorite teams together, and this simply could not happen between John and myself. Can’t afford to jinx things, and can’t afford to watch just one game. Commercials ruin football on TV. He watches one game. That’s it.
Over the years, I have watched a few Dolphins-Steelers games on TV with my daughter Maggie (a big Steelers fan), and I can say this without any disgust in my voice, she hates me because of how I act when my Dolphins are on. And if I sound bad, my son Dominic loves the Fins, too, and he is worse than me.
Sometimes Maggie will ask me “Don’t you want me to be happy?” when the Steelers lose. I love my daughter. I don’t love the Steelers. I want her to find happiness everywhere else in the world, but not during a Steelers-Dolphins game, or any Steelers game.
John and I once went to a Dolphins-Steelers game back in the early 2000s, when Nick Saban was coaching the Dolphins, and because it was a preseason game, I can’t even remember who won or lost.
What do I remember?
A drunk woman pinched my behind on the concourse during a lightning delay, and not his, and he didn’t let me forget about that for quite a few years. He probably forgot about that, so I am reminding him now. Hey John, mine, not yours.
We will call each other during the games, and tell each other how much we appreciate not being at each other’s house for weekend football. My wife, Ann Marie, will say something like ‘why don’t you invite John and Paula over,’ and I just laugh. I imagine Paula does the same thing. I hope John laughs, too.
I did, however, perform a very good deed earlier this season when Penn State played Washington on the Peacock Network on a Saturday night. You see, John does not have Peacock, but we do, so out of the goodness of my heart, I invited him over and he accepted, and he brought a giant pepperoni roll from Pacifico’s Bakery, too. That is love.
I even let him have the remote control so that I would not switch back and forth to other games that were on. Of course, I used my Amazon tablet to follow the other games that were going on, but the important thing to understand about my grandstanding here is that I invited John over.
I could have told him to listen to the radio, or go to a bar and watch the game, but because I knew he would bring something good to eat — a pepperoni roll — I just broke down and invited him over.
In the end, I wanted to be the bigger man because … well, physically, I am the bigger man.