My major in college was engineering, specifically mechanical design. For me, it was natural because I was always interested in how things were made and how they worked even though I never seemed to be interested in fixing them.

I was always asking questions and wanting to know “Why?” or “How?” I guess it was only natural that my second strong interest was philosophy. I loved to read the ancient philosophers and discuss at length the meaning of life, inner peace, the possibility of time travel and the untapped power of the mind.

I guess one of life’s mysteries is how I transitioned from those lofty platonic thoughts to today, where I seem to find humor in the mystery of everyday life. I now ponder an entirely different set of life’s mysteries, most of which never seem to be questioned by the rest of society.

Come with me now to the inner workings of my mind, as we explore together some of life’s most intriguing and unsolved mysteries, (according to me).

Let’s start out with an easy one. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Some people go through life professing their individual moral superiority based strictly on their choice of food. But in the privacy of their own kitchen, do these people who claim to only eat plant based foods secretly sneak those tiny baked animal crackers into their dish of ice cream? Are they living a double life? Makes you think doesn’t it?

Moving on to a different subject, I next find myself focusing on those hospital gowns which had to be designed by someone who was constantly going through change of life heat flashes and had an intense fear of buttons.

Why else would anyone design a gown with an opening in the back you could drive a truck through. I have spent many a night in the hospital trying to hold my hospital gown shut with two hands as I made my way to the bathroom attempting to cover what was left of my dignity. The question that begs to be answered is, if there was a hospital in a nudist colony would the patients have to wear those stupid gowns? Inquiring minds want to know.

Those were easy, but now they get harder. For those of you old enough to remember the Tarzan movies, think back. Tarzan didn’t have a horse or a golf cart, he swung through the trees using the numerous vines available. Did it bother you that the vines were not marked, yet Tarzan always seemed to pick a vine going in his desired direction. Really? Even Crocodile Dundee (a modern day version of Tarzan) knew enough to ask directions while in New York City or at least take a cab.

Another great source of mystery for me were the cowboy movies. Not the modern movies where cowboys are struggling with their sexual identity or a bookkeeping error on the ranch books. I am thinking about the old ones from the ’50s that normally came as double features on Saturdays. The ones where the good guys all wore white hats, the women had printed calico dresses and every boy had a dog.

In many of these movies, the bad guy was well known to everyone and wore the same clothes the entire movie. However, when he pulled a handkerchief up over his face and robbed the local bank, no one recognized him. Wow, that handkerchief must have been a secret weapon from the future.

Cowboy movies were so good they deserve a second mention. Two cowboys could spend half the movie riding through the desert on horseback chasing outlaws with no visible equipment aside from a canteen and a rifle.

However as the sun falls they suddenly are seen sitting on blankets beside a campfire over which is a huge metal coffee pot and a pot of stew. Where did all of that stuff come from?

I guess the viewer is to assume that they stopped at a Rent to Buy Store located just behind that huge rock in the background.

It appears as if my focus on the meaning of life, time travel and the power of the mind those many long years ago has been replaced by the much more complex yet simple issues of the real world.

John Kasun writes from his home in Duncansville where he watches the Old Movie Channel and constantly contemplates life’s mysteries.