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It's no secret that I am probably one of the biggest fans of the NFL. There just aren't a lot of 57-year-old men who keep little helmet magnets of every team in the league on their fridge and keep the standings in the right order during the season.
My wife and kids know I love them, but during the NFL season, they are not allowed to touch my magnets. You can move them, but only if you're putting the Jets in last place, and maybe the Steelers in last place. But that's me.
There aren't too many guys who have tons of jerseys and T-shirts with not only their favorite team represented, but basically anything and everything that screams NFL that also fits me. I have an Eli Manning T-shirt with his name and number, and it's a good bet that Peyton's brother has never worn a 4X before either.
But something happened several weeks ago that is troubling me, and it makes me wonder how my mother would have reacted had this happened on her watch. The NFL is putting a game on Christmas Eve … at night!
The Steelers will host the Las Vegas Raiders on Christmas Eve at 8:15 p.m. I can deal with football on Christmas Eve in the afternoon, and on Christmas Day, too, but isn't there something that is so sacred that even Roger Goodell should attempt on Christmas Eve?
Christmas Eve services … hello!
My mother used to plan her Christmas Eve dinner -- you know, the one with the seven fishes -- but because my mother always worried about running out of food, made it seem more like 70 fishes. I always wondered if there were other Italian families across the world that had Mrs. Paul's fish sticks as one of their 70 fishes!
After dinner, which usually ended at around 8 p.m., we would all get ready for midnight Mass. My dad would put a holiday movie on, and we would watch it until we had to leave for church at about 11 p.m.
Now I am trying to imagine my brothers and I trying to tell my mom that we can't leave until Chuck Noll decides whether he wants to go for it on fourth down, or have Roy Gerela kick a field goal. To trick my mom into letting us even watch a game on Christmas Eve would truly become the Immaculate deception!
When I was dating my wife back in the early 1990s, the Dolphins played the Lions on ESPN on Christmas night, which did not bother me because the day was almost over. My girlfriend came over to the house and could not believe we had football on with a dining room full of Francos, Risoldis and DeLeos screaming … I mean, chatting away. As long as no one stood in the way of the TV, no one had a problem. Chairs were moved so that you could sit in the dining room, eat, laugh, talk … and still see Dan Marino throw a touchdown pass.
But again, it was not Christmas Eve. Big difference.
I am trying to imagine if churches of all denominations in Pittsburgh are going to schedule around that game. I know the Steelers rule that city, but on Dec. 24 … come on … Baby Jesus, Joseph and Mary … should they not trump Cam Heyward, T.J. Watt and whoever wins the quarterback battle?
My advice to Steelers fans … and this is for you Maggie Franco, Mickey Behe and John Dibert … tape the game, and watch it when you get home from midnight Mass. Don't listen to it on the radio when you get in the car. There are plenty of stations playing Christmas music that night, and for heaven's sake, turn your phones off, too!
I've got my own problems to deal with the next day.
My son Dominic and I are still trying to figure out how we are going to do Christmas. The Dolphins host the Packers at 1 p.m. That is when my Mrs. Franco serves our traditional pasta buffet, which could include anything from gnocchi, ravioli and lasagna to other Italian dishes. And since I help out, watching football at that time is going to be extremely challenging.
I told him not to worry. We have all summer and fall to come up with a plan that will benefit both her wonderful cooking, her Christmas spirit and our longing for the Fins to make the playoffs finally. I could promise to spend a weekend at a bed and breakfast watching Hallmark Channel movies with her once the football season is over, but a man can only do so much.
Christmas is a time for miracles, but if that doesn't work, we can tape the game and watch it Christmas night. At least I know that works.
Mirror Sports Copy Editor Scott Franco writes a monthly humor column for the Mirror.