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All ears when it comes to mask wearing

To say this past year has been difficult would be an understatement.

People keep asking, “When will we get back to normal?”

I am not sure this is not the new normal.

In many ways, this pandemic is like getting a big wad of chewing gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe. No matter how much you try to scrape it off, it simply smears and is a constant reminder that it is there with every step.

The one fact that is sure is that the pandemic has brought out the very best in our medical community and our first responders, all of whom have put service to the citizens of our community under difficult conditions at the very top of their list. Thank you all!

In spite of the serious and uncertain times we are living in, I have also found that humor is still intact. I was talking with a bachelor friend the other day who can see middle age clearly in his rearview mirror when he said, “I’ll tell you one thing about this pandemic, my social calendar is looking good. I have been on more dates since it happened then I have been in the last five years.”

Caught off guard by his statement, I asked, “What do you think caused the increase in activity?” With a twinkle in his eye he responded, “I am pretty sure it is the fact that I am wearing a mask.”

As most of you know by now, it is easier to win the lottery than get a COVID-19 vaccine shot. My wife and I were on every vaccine list within a 75-mile radius until recently when we got lucky and received our first shot at the East Freedom Fire Hall. When my wife and I walked in, the hall was full, but shortly, I found myself stepping up to the table.

As a young woman pulled up my sleeve and scrubbed down my arm, I asked, “Am I going to get a shot?”

Holding the needle in mid-air and with a puzzled look on her face she said, “Why, yes, isn’t that why you are here?”

“Well, actually,” I responded, “I was just driving by and saw all the cars. I thought the fire hall was having one of their turkey dinners, so I stopped in.” I was lucky she had a sense of humor or I might have gotten a shot in the butt.

The entire operation was very well organized, very efficient and it was pretty obvious there were no politicians involved in the planning. A special thanks to everyone involved.

It would be hard to talk about the pandemic without mentioning masks. Years from now, people will be looking through digital photos of their relatives at special family events like weddings, birthday parties and graduations. The problem is no one will be able to recognize anyone because everyone will be wearing a mask. Actually, we should all be wearing masks with our names across the front so in the future we can be identified in what will become those “old” family photos.

If this pandemic continues, I intend to take some corrective action. For example, I am presently considering plastic surgery. I am thinking about having two additional ears added to my head. The other day I went into the hardware store, complete with mask. I got four steps into the store when my glasses fogged up completely. I knew I needed to stop and allow them to clear to not risk walking into the paint display.

Suddenly, I heard someone calling out my name and I knew I had to take some action. As I tried to remove my glasses, I found them tangled with my mask, rendering me maskless, which might not have been too bad if the cord on the mask was not also hooked onto my hearing aid. Suddenly, I found myself with my mask, my eye glasses and my hearing aid all hanging from one ear. I looked like a cross between a Las Vegas showgirl and a Mexican Pinata. I am pretty sure an extra set of ears might help with this problem while keeping everything better organized.

John Kasun writes from his home in Duncansville, where he practices social distancing from dirty dishes, the laundry, the vacuum cleaner and anything resembling a mop.

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