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When I was a young, teenage, rookie reporter at the Altoona Mirror in my first job out of high school, I worked with an old-timer named Frank White.
White was the telegraph editor -- pulling copy from the Associated Press and United Press International telegraph machines and deciding what international and national news would get into print. He was a kindly soul, liked by everyone and possessed a dry, understated wit.
White kept a scrapbook of bloopers that found their way into the Mirror over the course of his career. They included convoluted sentences, nonsensical passages and captions incorrectly identifying the subjects of photographs.
But to me, the most comical section of his scrapbook was his compilation of blooper headlines. One in particular I remember. The Gable Company wanted to advertise "Shirts 'N Shorts," but the letter "r" was inadvertently dropped from the first word, and the error escaped the eyes of the copy reader.
When it was finally noticed, we immediately stopped the presses and redid the page. Frank smiled. Gable's was an important advertising client.
Headlines can be letter perfect and grammatically correct, but so absurd as to be amusing. A search of the internet uncovered this collection of such offerings:
"Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link."
"Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On."
"Survey Finds Dirtier Offices After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut."
"Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete."
"Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking."
"Bible Church's Focus Is the Bible."
"Fish Lurk in Streams."
"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says."
Here are some more:
"Honeymoon Trip on Titanic Was Eventful Night."
"Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years."
"Heat Wave Linked To Temperatures."
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over."
"Key Witness Takes Fifth in Liquor Probe."
"High Speed Train Could Reach City In Five Years."
"Marijuana Issue Sent to Joint Committee."
"Seek Help. Confide In Spouse Before Embarking On Affair."
"Man Found Dead in Cemetery."
"Reverend Jones Will Be Concentrated Today."
Some headlines are intended to be mocking and laugh-inducing. This one -- "Marijuana Issue Sent to Joint Committee" -- falls into that category.
Another headline commented on a block of frozen toilet flushing liquid that had fallen from a plane high above the state of Washington. The headline read "Chicken Little Was Right (The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling)."
Cove historian Jim Wentz writes a monthly column for the Mirror.