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As happy as a good portion of Blair County is about their kids going back to school, there is a part of me that is sad because that means my wife, an elementary school teacher, is also going back to school.
Ann Marie is not only my wife, but my best friend. I tell her everything. In fact, I tell her too much, and I know this to be true because she has actually told me, "You tell me too much. I don't need to know that. Call your friend John. Tell him. Please? I'll even dial for you."
But I need her. It was much easier running a household with her at home because I could always defer any, and let's be honest, all decisions to her when it involved our kids. In fact, I think I would have been a good government official on the national level because if something goes wrong at home, I just pass the blame off on her.
Since the middle of March, we've been together nearly 16 hours a day, seven days a week and more on weekends. I've loved it. She is a way better cook than me, which means she's cooked a majority of the meals. It would have been smart of me to take notes on what she's been doing in the kitchen.
Would have.
I got her hooked on watching "Happy Days" with me this summer, and she seems to have enjoyed me remembering the episodes almost word-for-word. But it makes me sad when she tells me she grew up with only two channels and no cable. I grew up with many channels and cable. Of course, she has a Master's of Education, and I never much mastered anything other than how many different actors played Ralph Malph's dad in 11 years (two if you're curious).
I've also been flirting with my wife for five months now, much to the dismay of my children. They are to the point where I think they want me to take it outside, which in my mind is way more inappropriate than flirting in the kitchen or living room.
They are constantly telling me "I'm in the room!" What are you guys talking about? You're always in the room. It's our house! One time one of them told me to "Get a room!" My reply was "Get a room?! I got a house! You guys leave."
This whole learn-at-home routine was tough, too, because it meant I could not roam throughout the house without a shirt on.
Let me explain.
Are you familiar with the TV show "The Goldbergs?" The dad on the show takes his pants off as soon as he gets home and walks around in just a shirt and his underwear. I am the opposite. I lose the shirt, but not with two kids and a teacher doing online learning. The three of them were so concerned, they were leaving shirts of mine strategically placed throughout the house, just in case I needed one at the last minute. I can't imagine what my cats were thinking when they saw one of my NFL jerseys hanging near their litter box.
Now it's back to me and our two dogs, those two cats, one rabbit and two gekkos, and based on my knowledge of animals, their survival rate just went from 100 percent to about 87 percent. It's going to take all of my efforts just to keep the house in order when my wife and I go back to seeing each other for just about 20 minutes a day.
Our pets are hoping they get to see Mrs. Franco at least that much, if not more!