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It is often said that the things you worry about never happen and things you never expect are the ones that get you in trouble.
I had never planned to be a bank robber, so the last thing I ever thought about was where I left my mask. However, the pandemic has changed all of that.
Now, both our car and truck each have two masks in them, plus we keep several masks on the shelf by the door. There seems to be a lot of disagreement as to whether or not a mask helps, and I am not convinced anyone really knows the right answer.
But while we can argue about it, there is no sense in taking a chance, either. I compare it to electricity. I cannot see electricity, but I am not going to stick my finger in a light socket to find out if it is there or not.
I talked to a lifelong bachelor recently who told me that his love life had been pretty boring for a long time, but he has been on quite a few dates since this whole pandemic thing has happened.
"I guess even the women are getting desperate," he said.
"Did it occur to you that in your case the mask might actually help?" I asked. When I left him, he had a puzzled look on his face. At least I think he had a puzzled look -- it was hard to tell because he was wearing a mask.
Everyone is waiting for life to go back to normal, but I am not sure we will ever see what we used to call normal again.
Like many of you, I have no idea what normal is any more, but I know to survive we all will have to change as we move forward. The important thing is to control the change and not simply follow blindly without reason or logic.
What I do know is we are the most successful and prosperous free country in the history of the world, but there are some people who would use this present health situation to tempt us to trade our freedom and success for what they might offer as safety and security.
It is important to keep a clear mind. We didn't get this far without taking chances and at times in our history we have overcome some serious problems. Now is not the time to start being afraid and looking for government protection and handouts. Let's suck it up and face this thing together with common sense, logic and prayer.
One thing I have learned is that with all that is happening, I personally still find humor in everyday life.
The other day, I was running some errands at a local big box store, which was quite busy considering the current situation. Everyone was attempting to maintain social distance and, for the most part, everyone was wearing a mask.
My main goal when shopping these days is to just get done and get out. I don't have the time or the desire to browse, and I can only stand wearing a mask for so long, so I try to keep moving.
I was negotiating my way through a crowed section of the store when suddenly I felt a sharp bite on my right arm like the world's biggest mosquito had just stuck a fork into me. Instinctively, I struck at the pain with my left hand with a resounding "SMACK." In an instant, I recognized a huge black blowfly sailing through the air and landing several feet away dead as the proverbial doorknob.
The problem was the "SMACK" had caught everyone's attention within earshot and I was suddenly the center of attention as everyone stopped what they were doing and stared in my direction. Suddenly, I felt like Indiana Jones in the movie "Raiders of the Lost Ark," where Jones encounters an adversary with a large sword who takes several minutes displaying his obvious skill with the weapon, after which Jones simply pulls out his pistol and shoots him, proving the folly of bringing a knife to a gun fight.
For an instant, everyone was frozen in time and no one spoke a word.
Coming back to my senses, I realized the now dead fly landed at the feet of a small boy who was clutching his mother's dress with both hands. His mask was on his chin, his mouth wide open and his eyes were the size of coffee cups as he seemed in total shock at what had just occurred.
Looking directly at the boy but speaking in a loud voice for all the crowd to hear, I said with all the Indiana Jones' attitude I could muster, "He didn't have his mask on," and nonchalantly walked away.
I think if I had a hat and a whip like Indy, I might have made a few bucks signing autographs.
John Kasun writes from his home in Duncansville where he types without wearing a mask. Although you are welcome to wear a mask while reading the column, there is no guarantee you will not come down with the virus.