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I don't mind if my kids do a lot of the things I did as a youngster. It's just that when they do them these days, they seem to cost me and my wife … money.
And for the record, this is me complaining about money, not Mrs. Franco, but due to contractual agreements, she must be mentioned at a least a few times in each of my columns.
For instance, one of my sons recently asked his girlfriend to go to homecoming with him at Hollidaysburg. That shouldn't be a problem, right? A phone call is all that should take, right? And he has plenty of dress clothes from what he doesn't wear to church because he only dresses up a couple of times a year at church (Easter Sunday and Christmas Eve services) … right?
WRONG!
Evidently I missed the meeting that involves purchasing items from the hobby stores to make several posterboards asking his girlfriend to attend the event. We already had a phone, or to the point, he already had a phone (which we paid for!) to call her and ask her to go with him. The phone thing would not have cost me a penny.
Then my wife reminded me about what I did for her our first Valentine's Day in 1993 … and I so hate it when she is right, which means for 27 years now, I've apparently been filled with a lot of hate.
She reminds me that I purchased her four gifts that day. I brought them over to her house, and proceeded to bring them in, one at a time, like I was trying to be some kind of renegade Monte Hall from "Let's Make A Deal." And for full effect, I ushered them into her kitchen from my car, parked just outside the back door, in full view of any neighbors that might be watching at the time.
Her dad thought it was amusing. Her stepmom thought it was sweet. Her brother, Mike, who was home on leave from the Navy, looked at me as if I were an idiot. But then again, some 27 years later, I feel like he still looks at me like that … so let's not even count him on this one.
But hey, I am a hopeless romantic, but when I was schmoozing my wife all those years ago, I was using my own money. My son can schmooze all he wants -- and he is really good at it -- he just has to use his money he made working this summer or use the allowance we give him on a weekly basis.
And as I get used to this dating thing for my 16-year-old sons, I do so with very little patience. Again, my wife reminds me to think back to my days at their age. And I try to imagine asking my mom or dad for money to buy my girlfriend -- ANYTHING! -- back in the early 1980s. No, I don't want to imagine that because I want my memories of my parents to be good ones.
But it was hard getting used to my one son not watching the opening weekend with me a few weeks ago because … (gulp!) … he went over to hang out with his girlfriend instead. He picked her over watching our Dolphins get crushed by the Ravens in week No. 1. But thankfully, he did stay home the following Sunday to watch the Dolphins get crushed by the Patriots with me. How lucky was I?
My one daughter recently posted pictures on social media of her and her boyfriend going to an apple orchard.
They picked flowers and apples, and all those other things that I'm sure my wife would do if she picked someone other than me to marry.
I told her I would do that right after the Super Bowl, but apparently, picking apples and flowers in February around here is frowned upon.
There were all these comments from family and friends of how pretty the photos were and how happy the two of them looked. My only question: "Did you do this on a Thursday or another day because surely you would not do this on a Saturday or a Sunday with so much wonderful college and pro football on TV?" And this is what made me love my daughter even more than I already do … her answer … "We went on Tuesday!"
See, we did raise our kids the right way.