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The perception of truth has a very wide scope. It can be beautiful, painful and confusing -- maybe momentarily or all at the same time.
I've always held tightly to how I feel about certain circumstances and situations. I'm also aware that many, or all, of the scenarios I find myself in are different in their own ways, but require the same traits or qualities that I've already reluctantly grown accustomed to -- like having an infinite amount of quiet, forced patience.
That's one of the biggest truths in my life because of my cerebral palsy. It comes with the territory of living with a disability and I've learned to accept it. However, I was reminded of an entirely different level of patience -- as well as needing assistance -- when I had surgery earlier this year.
The procedure was done to correct severe damage to my body from a spider bite, after initially getting bit in July 2024. It was so bad that I needed stitches on the inside and glue on the outside to hold my incision together during the very delicate healing process. I also needed more patience and help than I wanted to admit at the time -- because getting in my wheelchair, feeding myself and simply moving around proved to be even more challenging.
I refused to allow myself to be sad or scared for too long. Surgery became inevitable, as my bite began to unexpectedly fill with poison and continually explode in mid- to late-2025. This came after everything seemingly healed in January that year. All this took me back to my childhood, when I had two separate surgeries on both my legs at Shriner's Hospital in Erie. I don't recall being upset about it because the environment there was so warm, welcoming and even fun.
The doctors and staff made the experience of having an operation less scary -- in a way that put a smile on my face and comforted my soul. I didn't think I'd find that same relief for the strange situation with my spider bite, but I did by some miracle. It couldn't have come soon enough. The searing, excruciating pain from each explosion was, and still is, easily the worst I've ever felt in my life.
The explosions also made large, open holes in my skin - only to close and burst mere weeks later. This vicious cycle left me hurt, ill and completely worn out by the time I was referred to a surgeon going into 2026. She wasted no time scheduling me for surgery, upon many emergency visits to her office and examining my massive injury -- including how much more damage would be done if she didn't perform surgery.
Although I knew what was ahead, the floodgates opened back up to my childhood. Back to the long days of wearing a double cast on my legs and still needing assistance. Nothing changed -- except I was now a woman finding my way through yet another obstacle.
We're all given more than we can handle sometimes. If we dig deep enough, we'll find a reason to fight and live our truth.
Erin Kelly, 41, was born in Seoul, Korea, and lives in Altoona. Her work has appeared in The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project, among other publications. E-mail her at WriterWheels28@gmail.com.