Gratitude comes in many forms. It’s the usual smile, hug or handshake for a job well done. It’s a simple cup of coffee or hot tea after a long day. It’s also a gift that no amount of money can buy.

I don’t like to say that my life is hard because everyone’s life is difficult in some way. People might look at my wheelchair — not knowing I have cerebral palsy — and think that’s more than enough to deal with on a daily basis. I’ve learned to be OK with that because they’re right.

I do need more help and support than the average person, which I know I’ll never be in a position to refuse. It’s the first step toward realizing that people don’t have to help me — including my friends, family, physical therapists, teachers and others. They’ve chosen to help me for as long as I can remember and still consciously make that choice all these years later. It’s also a constant process of recalibrating myself every day — realizing that my circumstances are indeed permanent, and not because of an accident or a mistake.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about that, but I carry countless memories of all the times I’ve been helped by someone. I’m forever grateful that I’m able to add doctors and medical professionals to my long list. They’ve tilted my world at an angle where I can see a bit of light inside the dark tunnel I’ve found myself in, ever since I was vaccinated for COVID-19 over four years ago.

It hurts knowing that I’m still not used to living with the effects of the severe reaction I have from the vaccine. However, the thought that my life has drastically changed because of something that was designed to protect me cuts even deeper. I have to remind myself that I’ve achieved several small victories in the midst of this mess, like being able to listen to music with headphones on for an hour or doing what I love most: write.

To say it took a lot of patience to get to this point would be a huge understatement. It’s become a constant daily routine of knowing how much my body can handle and stopping when I need to. I’m grateful that I can recognize those signs after so long, but my biggest victory came last month during a visit to the movie theater.

I was able to go to the movies for the first time in five years to see “The Smashing Machine,” starring one of my favorite actors, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I wore my headphones as I enjoyed a night out with a friend who loves watching and critiquing films as much as I do.

This seems like such a small thing, but it was two hours of vindication and freedom — not to mention a chance to watch an Oscar-worthy performance by Dwayne. I feel like my old self is slowly coming back — bring on the popcorn!

Erin Kelly, 40, was born with cerebral palsy in Seoul, Korea, and now lives in Altoona. E-mail her at

WriterWheels28@gmail.com