Stop me if you heard this one before. You know what … don’t because I’m in a bad mood and this is going to be me venting.

A pastor at my church in Duncansville once said to me that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. Well you know what … God must think the world of me!

Case in point: There was a week in February in which the sky was falling but it was only falling on me and Mrs. Franco and anyone who happened to be living in our house. Let’s start with this:

– Our dryer in the laundry room decided it no longer wanted to participate in the upkeep of our clothes. Just stopped blowing hot air (no jokes until after I’m done). We called the gentleman who always fixes our appliances (we love the guy), and after informing us that our 1986 dryer had served its purpose, he would go about either trying one last thing to fix it or sell us one of his that he keeps at his shop.

– Not done yet. A couple of days later, our van, a 2012 Dodge Grand Caravan with more than 177,000 miles on it, must have heard about the dryer and decided he, too, was ready to retire. But we took it to our mechanic (we love this guy, too) and he fixed it, which Ann Marie loved because that is what she drives.

She only drives it five days a week: four miles to school and four miles back home. We baby this van and in return, it has always bounced back. But the next morning, Ann Marie goes out to start it … didn’t start. Had to have it towed away, back to the garage, where it was later pronounced retired for good.

Yay! We need to get both a dryer and another car (Imagine an applause sign NOT WORKING! for this column at this point).

– Not done yet. That night I got to go cover a high school basketball game, which I absolutely love doing because it’s nice to get out and about and see some familiar faces. I enjoyed it. I think the people I bumped into enjoyed it. You know who didn’t enjoy it? Our other car, a 2018 Nissan Rogue which decided it no longer wanted to blow hot or cold air. You could feel the air coming out of the vents, but it was not getting any help from the fan motor so it was really cold. It eventually would heat up, if you were willing to drive around for about 30 minutes. Nothing like no heat in a car in February. OK, gotta make another appointment with my mechanic.

– Not done yet folks. In a bad mood because of my car, I get back to the office, sit down to write my story, turn on my tape recorder … and it’s broken. It plays everything at fast speed or slow speed, so either my coaches sounded like Minnie Mouse or a demon from a horror movie. I had to call both coaches up, apologize and interview them again but over the phone.

They were both really nice about it: Altoona’s Chris Fleegle and Hollidaysburg’s Deanna Jubeck. Deanna even made a few jokes, saying she wanted to hear her demon voice, and then wondered if I knew that you can use your cellphone to interview people. Don’t get me started on my flip phone. Deanna.

Did I mention, at the end of the week, I lost my wallet. Went to Saturday night mass at our church, and did not find it until the next morning when my son Dominic found it in his car (don’t ask). The point being that my license, bank cards, credit cards and pictures of my kids when they were younger would be gone. Am I complaining too much at this point?

But maybe we’ll get another car with that income tax refund since we had an appointment to get our taxes done this week, too. Sorry. Penalty on life for piling on the Francos because those refund days are gone.

We no longer enjoy having four little dividends living at home, but that’s OK because we then find out from our mechanic that we will need four new tires on the Nissan by May 1. Please don’t remind me that we have a wedding to help with over the next two years, too. Still complaining too much?

So, we are going to try to make having one car for us work for a while, and get some help from the three kids who are around with their cars.

I would yell “Calgon take me away” at this point, but I’m afraid my shower might break.

My wife keeps telling me that there are people in this world that have it much worse than we do right now. We have bumps in the road where others have boulders in the road. I beg to differ. The bumps are boulders just covered up by my wife’s mind-numbing — but very necessary — optimism. While she’s doing great, I’m afraid to even go to the bathroom!

I’d like to think that my mother — whom I believe with all my heart — is my own personal guardian angel in Heaven, and that she wants to help me, but God keeps telling her to “let the boy figure it out, Jean. He’ll be fine.” So that’s where my wife gets it.