PITTSBURGH - The Pirates are playing at 1:35 this afternoon, and the Steelers are scheduled to kick off somewhere around 8:25, depending on when Bob Costas is ready.
Both are home games, which means about 37,000 baseball fans and 60,000 football fans will fight for the same parking spots after they navigate those narrow streets on the North Side.
Usually things are planned so that only one team is home during each of the Sundays in September. Even then, Steelers Sundays are a logistical mess.
Today's traffic crawl has the potential to create confusion of epic proportions. Of course, it's also possible everyone will follow the rules that have been outlined, show the proper courtesy and make it all run smoothly. (It's also possible Kenny Chesney fans will start cleaning up after themselves, but you don't count on it).
The NFL could have saved Bears-Steelers for Monday night under ordinary circumstances, but the Steelers are playing in London on Sunday. They can't afford to lose a day.
So it's two games in one relatively small patch of real estate.
This is the worst idea since:
n Huey Richardson? Todd Graham? The Bridge To Nowhere? Kent Derdivanis? People getting autographs from John Rigas? The Pittsburgh Piranhas?
n Jeromy Burnitz? "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh?" Walt Terrell? The original Zum Zum concession stands at Three Rivers Stadium? Pittsburgh Phantoms roller hockey?
n Mike Kingery? Drafting Jason Worilds instead of Sean Lee? Mike Haywood? Retiring Billy Meyer's number? Rico Fata? Dropping the Pitt-Penn State football series? The Pittsburgh XPlosion?
n Bright gold Penguins jerseys? Firing Bob Prince and Nellie King? Replacing them with Milo Hamilton and Lanny Frattare? Roger Marino? The Regional Renaissance Initiative?
n Aki Iwamura? Kent Graham? Any and all Steelers offensive coordinators? Banning outside food and drinks when PNC Park opened? Putting Penguins games on pay-per-view? Drafting John Van Benschoten instead of C.J. Wilson?
n Giving Howard Baldwin a credit line? Tony Mason on Pitt football broadcasts? Free agent Derek Bell? Kris Beech and a bunch of nothing for Jaromir Jagr? $523 million for all 1.2 miles of the North Shore Connector?
n Cliff Stoudt? Eric Green's Super Bowl rap video before the AFC Championship game? Taking the New York Islanders lightly in the 1993 playoffs? Barry Bonds ignoring Andy Van Slyke's advice to move in a few steps in Game Seven in 1992?
Pierre Creamer? John Russell? Public address announcements at Pitt Stadium insulting West Virginians? Giving Jack Ham's No. 59 to Todd Seabaugh? Giving Pat Meares a four-year contract extension while he was on the disabled list?
Drafting Rich Sutter instead of Dave Andreychuk? Believing that Terry Bradshaw would bounce back from an elbow injury and eliminate the need to draft Dan Marino? Canceling "Chiller Theater?"
Jim Rooker's promise to walk back from Philadelphia if the Pirates lost? Most Duquesne basketball coaching hires? Hop 'n Gator? Bruno Sammartino's mid-1970s hairpiece? Lynn Swann's run for governor? Trading up to draft punter Daniel Sepulveda?
Jean-Claude Van Damme's "Sudden Death?" Limas Sweed? Dan Potash's fake feud with Pascal Dupuis? Mike Gottfried's lifetime contract? Pretending red was one of the Pirates' colors? Kurt Angle as a TV sportscaster? Promoting Eddie Olczyk from TV analyst to head coach?
You decide. The debate might help pass the time if you're stuck in North Side traffic today.
(Mehno can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org)