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It’s really simple, don’t drink and drive

No fun and games this week, instead I have to tell you all about my exciting Saturday night last weekend.

It was about 11 p.m. or so. I had just returned home about an hour before from State College to treat myself to wings from my favorite local place, Zen Wings and Things. I was enjoying my meal when I received a text from my mom informing me of her return from her day trip to Harrisburg.

Dad was in bed to get up around 4 a.m. to go to work. Mom was settling in for some almonds and TV before heading to bed, and I was settling in for a late-night game session.

And then things got nutty.

A loud crash could be heard coming from outside, the house shook and my lights and computer monitors flickered off and on.

“What the heck was that,” I said out loud. I went flying down the stairs, not knowing what I was going to find. I reached the living room to find everything fine until Mom came bursting through the living room door. “Call 911, someone just hit the house.”

Sure enough, a white Mitsubishi Outlander sat sideways across the front of my neighbor’s driveway, nose completely smashed in.

The driver managed to go up over the curb, avoid hitting the neighbor’s SUV and trailer sitting outside their house on the street, as well as their front porch, but scraped the front end of the two vehicles in the driveway and then crashed into the foundation of our house.

After calling for police and an ambulance, I went outside where my Mom found the driver staggering around outside the vehicle. She grabbed his arm to hold him upright, as well as prevent him from leaving the scene. He reeked of alcohol.

“Go inside and wake up your dad and get a chair for this guy,” Mom yelled.

Dad, to his credit, slept through the entire thing. If not for his bladder calling him to the bathroom and hearing the commotion downstairs, he very well may have gone back to bed and never said boo of anything.

I grabbed a chair from the dining room table and returned outside to Mom and the driver, where police and AMED began to arrive, as well as my neighbors whose vehicles were hit. Along with pretty much the rest of the neighborhood.

I took the chair down and had the driver sit down, only to hear my mom ask, “Why’d you grab the good dining room chair?”

The only other chair I could have reasonably carried out there was the office chair from the den. I wondered if she wanted to put him on wheels again to go and hit something else? But, I let that go.

Eventually, the driver was taken away to the hospital, the state police conducted their investigation and everyone returned inside.

We’ve since learned the extent of the damage.

The force from the impact caused the foundation to shift and crack, and the part where the car hit the house is all but gone. The entire front end of the house is going to have to come off this summer to replace the foundation, and then have the lost part of the house replaced.

That means no front-door entry, and likely means placing two rooms’ worth of furniture, photos and other things into storage while the work is done. It also means, barring Xfinity being able to run a new cable line for our modem, we won’t have internet access either.

I tell you all this not to complain about our very real-world problems. But in light of prom, graduation and wedding season coming up quickly, I tell you of my family’s interesting Saturday night to beseech my readers that if you’re going to drink this spring during your celebrations, please don’t drive.

Call a cab, an Uber, or if you’re a friend of mine, call me. I’d sooner come pick someone up at the bar than lose a friend and regret it the rest of my life.

Dan Isenberg writes about gaming, tech, nerd culture and whatever else suits his fancy for the Altoona Mirror. He can be reached at disenberg@altoonamirror.com or on Twitter @TheseDanTweets.

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