Even though my wife has a Masters Degree in education, she should have one in psychology. And I don't mean that because she figured out how to survive 20-plus years with me.
She is prepping me for the fall of 2016. That is when daughter No. 2, Julianna, will head off to college. She wants to go to Michigan. I really don't know where I want her to go, but Michigan is low on my list - like, right after the University of Minsk.
It's kind of my fault, though, because of my love for sports.
Being an Illinois fan in college football and a Penn State men's basketball fan, Big Ten sports are always on television at home. Somewhere along the way, she fell in love with the Maize and Blue, and I certainly didn't help by buying her a few Wolverine T-shirts along the way.
But I didn't think her affection for one-time quarterback Denard Robinson would lead to thinking about a seven-hour adventure across several states.
And God bless her: She wants to earn a scholarship, which she would have to because her school loans will have her grandchildren finishing the payments into the year 2100.
But the Mrs. says that the more I say no, the more Julianna will want to go to Michigan. Let her find out on her own is what I am told. That is the smart thought. But let's face it folks: You've read this column since 2009, so you know that I do not operate on smart.
My gameplan is a full-out assault with all things Michigan.
First, since he is such a big fan, I'll get Rob Egan, Altoona Curve GM, to come over and talk about how great Michigan really is, and I'll get him to come over every day until Julianna thinks he's part of the family.
What about a Bill Bettwy personalized cartoon caricature of Julianna and me attending Wolverine sporting events together? We could hang it outside our home on a flag, and maybe get some dad and daughter T-shirts, too!
Then, we get some cardboard cutouts of famous Michigan alumni like Gerald Ford, Tom Brady, James Earl Jones, Madonna and Ann Coulter and just shove them into her room. She doesn't have room for a shoe tree in there let alone all this stuff.
And wouldn't it be cool if I get Jones to leave taped messages on her cell phone, using his best Darth Vader voice. Maybe I could get him to sing the school fight song in the same voice. Or maybe a duet?
Obviously, my wife disagrees. She says Julianna will figure it out. She says she is smart. And she is. Her grades are all high 90s, and she is a top-notch student. She loves to figure things out.
I think she should be a lawyer because she loves to argue things with me, but then again, based on that, all high school kids should become lawyers.
Scott Franco is a member of the Altoona Mirror sports staff, a husband and a father of four. Reach him at 946-7528 or sfranco@altoonamirror