PITTSBURGH - The tree is dusty, the batteries have conked out and the calendar is obsolete.
The holidays are winding down, so it's time to take a fuzzy but affectionate look back at 2011 with the annual year-end quiz.
Pour a non-threatening soft drink, grab a couple of sharpened No. 2 pencils, and have a go at the traditional puzzlers:
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1. In a perfect world, Clint Hurdle would have:
a. Better hitters.
b. More pitchers.
c. A volume control.
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2. What is Pitt basketball's biggest question?
a. Can the Panthers win the Big East?
b. How will they compete in the ACC?
c. Why does Jamie Dixon now have Dagwood Bumstead's hairstyle?
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3. HBO's "24/7" series on the Winter Classic offered insight on:
a. A different look at hockey.
b. Behind-the-scenes footage.
c. A tutorial in swearing for young hockey players.
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4. What is the definition of bad luck?
a. Forgetting the umbrella on a rainy day.
b. Selling a stock before the value jumps.
c. Having Penguins tickets for the games both Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin missed.
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5. Book sales are down because people are now reading:
a. iPads.
b. Kindles.
c. So many tattoos on NBA players.
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6. Every December people look forward to seeing:
a. The Rockefeller Center tree.
b. Santa.
c. A new Pitt football coach.
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7. If you have vision problems, you may be:
a. Nearsighted.
b. Astigmatic.
c. Jerry Meals.
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8. For what quote will Todd Graham be best remembered?
a. "High octane offense."
b. "We're going to build a winner here."
c. "Wasn't my fault."
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9. The NFL signed a multi-billion dollar, nine-year TV rights agreement. This assures:
a. Profitable franchises.
b. Network ratings.
c. A consistent source of revenue beyond James Harrison's fines.
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10. Pittsburgh started disliking Jaromir Jagr the instant he:
a. Said he was "dying alive."
b. Demanded to be traded away.
c. Lost the mullet.
Mehno can be reached at: johnmehnocolumn@gmail.com
