I am sick.
I only wish I could tell you the story alleging that former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky had inappropriate contact with a 15-year-old boy over a period of four years is some cruel April Fool's joke.
But it's not.
With three pages of investigative coverage in its Thursday edition followed by a posting on its website, The Harrisburg Patriot-News is reporting that a grand jury has been hearing testimony on the allegation over the past 18 months.
Many in the media have heard rumblings about the allegation for more than a year, and there have been numerous Internet references.
The allegation surfaced in 2009 when, 10 years after retiring from the Nittany Lions staff, Sandusky was volunteering as an assistant football coach at Central Mountain High School in the Keystone Central School District.
It gets worse: The Patriot-News also is reporting that two months ago, state police in Centre County began calling witnesses about a May 1998 report by Penn State police detailing an earlier allegation of inappropriate contact against Sandusky by another boy, who was 12 years old at the time.
Let me stress that Sandusky has not been charged, and that all of the Patriot-News' sources are anonymous.
That doesn't, however, reduce concern for and about a person many of us have admired as a great coach and an even greater humanitarian for his work with The Second Mile, an organization he founded in 1977 for disadvantaged youth.
Can these allegations be true? We hope not, but who really knows? Deciding whether there's enough evidence to pursue criminal charges will be left up to the grand jury and the Attorney General's Office.
I will say I did find it curious that Sandusky would be a volunteer coach for a team 35 miles from his home in State College. It's obviously understandable that he'd want to stay involved with the game, but there surely were closer options.
Sandusky's mission with The Second Mile often found him in the company of young children in need of adult male role models but, like his choice of a post-college coaching venue, that doesn't make him guilty of these troubling allegations.
Both Penn State and The Second Mile are caught in the middle, left to answer if, what and when they knew anything and how they handled information and their obligations to report it.
Sandusky retired from the board of The Second Mile in September to spend more time with his family and concentrate on "personal matters."
The wording of the press release is apparently fitting, just as the title of his autobiography released in 2000 - "Touched" - is hopefully only ironic.
This may be the darkest cloud that's ever settled over a prominent Penn State legend, a truly sad day for anyone who rooted for Jerry Sandusky's defense on the field or supported his Second Mile efforts off it.
Mirror Managing Editor can be reached at Neil Rudel at 946-7527 or firstname.lastname@example.org.