PITTSBURGH - Here's something important the NFL owners and players need to know as they attempt to reach a new labor agreement:
It's important to the owners and the players, who need to have a handle on how large their fortunes will be.
But in the real world of personal seat licenses and $8 beer, details don't matter.
Just get a deal done and let us continue our addiction.
When it's cold and damp and miserable on a November Sunday, the sweet relief is knowing there's a game at 1, another one at 4:15 and that last one at 8:15.
Then at 11:30 there's a chance to catch all the highlights for another hour or two on ESPN.
You've got us, and you know it.
Don't be fools and put the relationship in jeopardy.
Find some common ground, sign the papers and keep providing the product.
We'll take care of our end, which includes buying the $24 T-shirts that were made in a place other than North America.
There's nothing we like better than television, and the NFL is our favorite TV show.
It's fast and violent and unpredictable, and home-team success provides bragging rights.
That guy with the lousy marriage and dead-end job who's raising a house full of "D" students is a winner when the Steelers beat Cleveland.
Your relatives in California who brag about the great weather?
Ha! the joke is on them - stupid San Diego didn't even make the playoffs.
We want uninterrupted football and some approximation of the current system that allows Pittsburgh and Green Bay to reach the Super Bowl.
That's it. You can argue over how to divide the money, but we'll keep providing it.
We're hooked. That's why people who are too busy to go to church can find the time to stop by a car dealership to get a picture with some practice squad player.
We want football, and we want it the way we're used to getting it.
Yes, we feel sad when we read stories about ex-players whose lives have been ruined by brain trauma, but we get over it.
It was a shame about Mike Webster but, wow, did you ever see a rookie lineman have a season like Maurkice Pouncey?
We care about the wedding registry of a quarterback who embarrassed us a year ago.
We'll watch a dance show because Hines (no last name necessary) will be competing on it.
Don't you dare mess with football.
Get a deal done, then shut up about it.
Kickoff is just six months away, and we're getting anxious.
Mehno can be reached at email@example.com.