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What are you thankful for this year? It's the question asked around family dinner tables every Thanksgiving.

Soldiers returning from combat are thankful to be home and grateful to spend time with loved ones.

But nothing can erase the raw images of war, the pervasive thoughts of a fallen comrade or concern for the soldiers who have taken their place in the war zone who are eating military rations instead of enjoying turkey and stuffing.

Spc. Eric Shirokey of Pennsylvania Army National Guard Bravo Company, 112th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Battalion, 56th Stryker Brigade, knows too well the feeling of loss. Fellow soldier Spc. Chad Edmundson of Williamsburg was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq in May.

"It's stuff we don't really talk about. It's just hard to talk about it," Shirokey said.

Since returning home to Tyrone in September, Shirokey and his fiancee, Spc. Carla Bigelow, have bonded with Edmundson's family and plan to spend Thanksgiving with Edmundson's father, stepmother and brothers and sisters.

"Since Chad's death, we've become very close. We spend holidays and weekends together," Bigelow said.

Edmundson's death seemed to make the war even more nerve-wracking for family and friends of soldiers in his unit.

Shirokey's mother, Barb Shirokey, remembers feeling an intense sense of relief when her son and his unit returned home.

"When we heard about Chad, it was like your heart dropped out of your body," Barb said. "Not knowing every day whether Eric would be next was the worst feeling."

This Thanksgiving, Barb and family members of other soldiers in the unit are even more thankful their loved ones have safely returned home.

"I'm thankful they got through it and that they're safe, but I feel for other soldiers' families," Barb said.

Many soldiers who are home for Thanksgiving this year may feel the tug and pull of emotions - gratitude they are home, anxiety over a future deployment and empathy for soldiers now fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Missy Kissell, head of the Family Readiness Group for Charlie Company, said all the men in her husband, Sgt. Mike Kissell's unit returned home safely, but many of the soldiers don't know quite how to deal with the holidays.

"They're thankful, but in the back of their head, they're thinking of soldiers that replaced them, the soldiers that are still over there going through exactly what they went through," Kissell said. "They can relax. They can enjoy it, but there's always that constant fear in the back of their head."

After fighting a war, soldiers thrust back into society often have trouble adjusting. Socializing and getting back into the everyday routines of life may not seem natural for soldiers who were in combat just a few months prior.

"The routines and rituals that involve socializing with family can be difficult for some. They might not feel like they're in the holiday spirit. They might feel like isolating and being quiet," said John Grove, chief of social work at the Van Zandt VA Medical Center.

Barb Shirokey learned the hard way to give her son Eric some distance. The first time her son was deployed to Iraq, she attached herself to him upon his return. Eric, however, didn't want that emotional closeness right away.

"You have to let them come to you," Barb said.

It's important to let the soldiers do what feels right to them. If that means laying low and staying quiet, that's OK. It's also fine if they want to go overboard with the holiday spirit.

"Let them do what they want to do. It's still a transition back from Iraq," Kissell said.

Returning to normal takes time, First Sgt. Michael Swartz with Charlie Company said.

"We've adjusted pretty well. ... We get extensive briefing," Swartz said. "But the initial shock of being back home, it's a shock to the system. I'm thankful that all my guys returned home and with minimal casualties. I'm thankful we're back with families."

Though soldiers may be thankful for returning home safely, it's not incumbent upon them to be thankful, Grove said.

"They may not be in the position of thinking about the holidays or what they're thankful for. If anything, people owe them a debt of gratitude," Grove said. "We should be thankful to them."