When it comes to teen suicide, Bedford County resident Tina Henderson is frustrated with a lack of discussion about the third-highest cause of death for American youths.
"No one wants to talk about it," Henderson said. "I think because there's a stigma attached to it. If your son or daughter dies from an
accident or cancer or some other disease,
it's OK. But if they take their own life, there must be something wrong with your family or with them."
This month marks the anniversary of her son Eric's passing. Eric died by suicide three weeks before his 14th birthday.
She said rumors began swirling almost immediately.
"People care too much about what other people say," she said. "People look at you differently or at least you feel like they do after you have someone commit suicide.
Henderson spent years traveling the country on behalf of the Bedford County chapter of the Yellow Ribbon International Suicide Prevention Program, whose singular goal is to prevent more deaths like Eric's.
While she was well-received in places as far away as Wisconsin and in other counties across the state, Henderson couldn't get any interest locally. The program dispenses cards that people who are thinking about suicide can hand to someone to get them help, when they can't speak about the issue.
"We were on national TV talking about it, but we can't talk about it here," Henderson said.
She has since closed the local chapter, although she still comes across suicide attempts through her work in an emergency room. Her co-workers know to pass those patients to Henderson.
"I want to talk to them," she said. "I'm just trying to tell them it's OK to ask for help."
The Yellow Ribbon program was founded after the 1994 death by suicide of 17-year-old Mike Emme. Despite pulling another teenage friend out of suicidal thoughts just days before, Mike killed himself after a difficult break-up. More than half of the 180 chapters around the world were formed by family members of suicide victims.
Yellow was chosen because that was the color of his beloved 1968 Mustang.
The Emme family says that more than 1,500 lives have been saved through the program, which offers lectures and meetings at schools, prevention tactics for friends and family and a wealth of information at the Web site, www.yellowribbon.org.
According to a recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 19 percent of boys and 10 percent of girls have seriously considered suicide.
Often there are signs that a teenager might be contemplating suicide, according to the Pennsylvania Psychological Association. They include talking or writing about death with a sense of hopelessness, sadness or boredom, impulsive and aggressive behavior, self-inflicted injury and an increase in the use of alcohol or drugs and risky activities.
Other signs are withdrawal from friends and family or experiencing a severe stressor.
"No single factor can predict suicidal behavior," licensed Camp Hill-area psychologist Dr. Pauline W. Wallin said. "But the more factors involved, the greater the risk."
That risk increases if a teen has a history of emotional problems, including depression, if there is a serious family conflict and if a suicide attempt has been made in the past.
"Commonly, interpersonal relationship issues, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and/or family issues are the leading reasons," Yellow Ribbon Director Becca Emme, older sister of Mike Emme, said.
Even getting into serious trouble at school or with the law, bullying, gender identity issues and sexual and physical abuse can lead to suicidal thoughts, Emme said.
The Pennsylvania Psychological Association recommends that parents remove any weapons and medications from their home if they believe their teen is at risk.
According to the American Association of Suicidology, males between the ages of 15 and 19 are more than twice as likely as females to complete suicide.
Julie Huffman and Brent Smith at the Bedford-Somerset Mental Health and Mental Retardation program deal with several at-risk youth through their crisis center and student assistance programs. They say the best thing to do is to become educated, know the signs and never hesitate to get help.
It's not so much that there's been an increase in the number of teen suicides or youth contemplating ending their lives, but rather people are becoming better informed, they said.
"I think educators have gotten better in general in identifying what kids are at risk," Huffman, the student assistance liaison, said. "People are more apt to call [for help] now."
Smith, crisis center program director said, "Since I've been here over the years, there has been a growing trend where there's less of a stigma toward getting mental health treatment. The stigma has been reduced."
Since a lot of the signs of a teenager contemplating suicide are similar to typical adolescent behaviors, it's important to take all signs seriously, Smith said.
"I think knowing the warning signs and knowing what to look for is important," Smith said. "The hard part is distinguishing."
Youth are usually more willing to talk about their thoughts and frustrations than adults, Smith said, adding that many people he sees are crying out for help.
"Kids are more ready to open up and express themselves," he said. "Most kids that get referred to us, they have openly verbalized to an adult that they're having suicidal thoughts.
"Most people want help. Most of the time, people don't truly want to die. They're crying out for help. There are those few who are determined to end their life and there's nothing anyone can do to try and stop them. Most of the time, people want to live."
Many times, Emme said, family members are not the first to know about a teen's suicidal thoughts.
"Youth confide more often to peers than adults," Emme said. "The youth absolutely must not keep this a secret, and this crisis should not be handled alone. They must tell a trusted adult even if it means their friend will be mad at them."
Asking "Are you thinking of killing yourself?" will not plant an idea as many people fear, Emme said, but will instead open the doorway to the isolation a suicidal person feels.
"They will know this person is willing to talk and listen," Emme said. "Listen with an open heart. Don't judge or make light of the person's feelings."
She said to ask the person who he would be willing to seek help from and ask what you can do to help.
A typical high school classroom has in it three students who have made a suicide attempt in the past year. Because of the stigma surrounding mental illness and suicide is still high, many attempters won't admit their intent or seek help, according to the American Association of Suicidology.
"They don't want to be perceived as crazy, stupid or weak," Emme said. "Youth and teens often fear losing the love or support of their family. Any deliberate self-harming behaviors should be considered serious and in need of further evaluation."
The fear of asking for help is a lesson that still pains Henderson to this day.
"I do know now in my heart that it was because he didn't know how to ask for help," she said of her son. "Something was bothering him so bad, and he didn't feel that he could talk to us."
Mirror Staff Writer Wendy McCardle is at 946-7520.
