Giving a voice to grief, hope
Annual event brings together family, friends of homicide victimsBy Wendy McCardle, wmccardle@altoonamirror.com
Article Photos
Shelby Snider has had three murders in her family and told guests at the third annual Singout for Crime Victims that she prides herself for being able to "still find magic in life."
With about 100 people shaking their heads in agreement, Snider described each loss, beginning with her daughter's death in 1999, holding back tears and then half-smiling and half-laughing as she said, "But there's more." She then described her brother's death in 1980 and then an in-law's death in 2001.
Snider said that although it's difficult for her to speak about her losses, she feels obligated to do so for the people in similar situations who wonder if they can survive the grief.
"Yes you can, and you will," she said.
Snider joined speakers Carol Ruggles, Robin Jackson, Jeff Sprankle and Dottie Smith, who all lost their daughters to homicide, Mary McGregor, who lost a brother, and Robin Bender, whose sister was killed. Yvonne Dinsel's neighbors and close friends were killed in their home.
Many of the victims mentioned died in alcohol-related accidents, being hit by drunk drivers in many cases. Others, however, died in violent acts.
Sprankle's daughter was shot by an ex-boyfriend in front of their two sons at a local day care center last year. The hardest part for Sprankle is trying to find answers to the many questions his grandsons now have.
"Even though I can forgive, I hold in my heart what happened," he said. "It's been very hard."
Ruggles, whose 16-year-old daughter was murdered in Ocean City, Md., 13 years ago, spoke about the importance of finding faith in dark times.
"Christ so called my heart," she said. "He just assured me, 'I'll give you what you need when you need it.' If you long for truth and justice, putting your trust in the legal system will leave you angry, bitter and hopeless. Only a faith in Jesus Christ gives hope."
The event, which featured musical and dance performances in addition to the testimonies, was sponsored by the Victim/Witness Program of Blair County, The United Survivors of Homicide Victims Support Group and the Pastoral Care program at Altoona Regional Health System.
Sue Griep, with the victim/witness program and host of the event, which was held at the First Church of Christ in Altoona, said the testimonies were an important way to empower family members and bring awareness of homicide and its effects to community members.
"It's really uplifting," Griep said. "You see these people who have had such horrible tragedies, and they have so much hope and strength. They put one foot in front of the other and get up and go. If they can do it, you can do it."
Those who lost their loved ones in seemingly unfair and tragic ways insist that their losses are only tragedies if they don't learn something and share it with others.
Just days before Smith's daughter was killed by an intoxicated tractor-trailer driver while changing a tire on Interstate 80 more than 20 years ago, Smith reached out impulsively and kissed her daughter and said "I love you."
"I can shut my eyes anytime I want and I can feel her kiss," said Smith, who began the Centre County chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. "When you get home and see the people you love, grab a hold of them, kiss them on the lips and tell them how much you love them."
Mirror Staff Writer Wendy McCardle is at 946-7520.
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guttertroll
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10-06-08 8:16 AM
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Finally a place on here to express my grief. "GOOD GRIEF!"
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ghost2b
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10-06-08 7:49 AM
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a death in a family is hard enough to handle but murder that must be alot HARDER to deal with.
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kathymcburn
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10-06-08 1:45 AM
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Well said textcop. Rendell wants to add $6.10 per carton of cigarettes. I say add that to a bottle of booze. But we know that will never happen because most of the government officals are drinkers.
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textcop
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10-06-08 1:36 AM
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My heart goes out to all of you. Drinking and driving is a crime. You'd think it was smoking. You can buy a 30 pack for 13 dollars. A carton of cigarettes is 45. Which will kill others faster? Lets tax booze at the rate that cigarettes are taxed. You can't smoke at the Curve baseball field but you can drink all day and then get in a car and go out and kill someone. You can't smoke at the campus but you can have tailgate parties and drink and then drive home. You can't advertise cigarettes on TV but he super bowl is the biggest promoter of booze and people spend the whole day watching and drinking and then drive home. What's wrong with this picture. Let's tax booze at the rate of cigarette purchases.
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