Big brother: Gaines a role model to large family of adopted kids

UNIVERSITY PARK - Josh Gaines could field his own football team with just his siblings - 10 of them plus him makes 11 - and he learned early on in life that living in a large family, like building a successful team, takes a lot of personal sacrifice.

Gaines, Penn State's co-captain and senior defensive end, was just 6 years old when his life changed forever. His mother and stepfather, Wilma and James Holder, decided to adopt a young girl from an underprivileged home. The Holders didn't know at first the girl had a sister.

"[The adoption agency] called me back and said, 'Would you be willing to take both girls?'" Wilma Holder said. "I said, 'We will take both girls.'"

"The one thing that sticks out in my mind is seeing the girls when they first got out of the car and seeing them for the first time," Gaines said. "They came out, and their clothes were just terrible. Right then and there, I knew I had a good life, and my mom was just trying to give the same thing to some other kids."

His mother's kindness didn't stop there. Wilma Holder, who has three biological children, found out the two sisters had two more siblings in their hometown of Fort Wayne, Ind. She didn't want the kids split apart, so she and James also adopted those two. Then Wilma learned there were two more siblings, so of course, they were adopted, as well.

"There was a long history of kids in our city having parents on cocaine and alcohol and drugs, so I wanted to help," Wilma said.

The desire to help one kid turned into adopting six children. James Holder also has a daughter, LaShonda, and those seven kids united with Wilma's children - Josh, Ebony and LaToya - to make 10. The Holders also adopted Gaines' cousin, Kevin, who is autistic.

"My grandmother took care of him, and when she passed away, my mom went and got him," Gaines said.

Gaines is the youngest of Wilma's biological children, so bringing in a bunch of adopted kids could have been toughest on him.

"Josh was 6 years old when we started getting these kids," Wilma said, "and we had to let him know he would be sharing toys and bedrooms. He never flinched. He thought it was the coolest thing in the world."

Wilma and her husband made sure to consult with their kids before bringing in the additional children. His parents' decision made a major impact on Gaines' life, and he's always been thankful for it.

"It really helped me, really helped mold who I am," he said.

And who is he?

"He's unselfish," Penn State defensive coordinator Tom Bradley said. "Anything you ask him to do [he'll do]."

An example of that showed up in PSU's season-opening win against Coastal Carolina. The Nittany Lions have depth concerns at defensive tackle, so Gaines moved inside from his end spot on occasion to help out.

Bradley said a player who's willing to try anything is "giving up personal preferences for team goals," something Gaines learned how to do early in his childhood.

It wasn't always easy, either. Gaines and his older sisters had to share their home with a bunch of new kids, which he said led to some jealousy "the first few years."

"I was 6 years old," Gaines said, "and I just remember it was about sacrifice, being able to sacrifice your own time, being able to commit to one cause. My mom had a cause, she had a belief, and I went with it. I had no choice.

"I had to give up a few things. I used to get a lot more gifts growing up. When they came, it kind of simmered down a little bit. But I learned a lot from that. I learned a lot about myself."

He also learned how to be a role model.

"He's a leader in the home," Wilma Holder said. "Josh is just not a leader out there [on the field], Josh is a leader in this house, too. The kids look up to him.

"I am so proud to see where Josh is at and where he's going. Josh is an excellent person."

Wilma also is proud of her adopted children, whom she believes may have been headed for a life on the streets had they remained in their original environments.

"To see them come from where they were to where they are now is really a blessing for us," Wilma said. "To be able to instill goodness in them and [keep them] off streets, even today, they're grateful, and they tell us."

Gaines also told his parents beginning at an early age that he wanted to attend Penn State. He used to draw pictures, his mother said, of animal characters, and the captions would read "Penn State."

"He spoke his own life into existence because that's all he talked about was Penn State," Wilma said.

Gaines could have had an easier childhood and a few more perks had his parents not adopted the kids, but then, he wouldn't be the person he is today without all of his brothers and sisters.

"I love them," Gaines said, "and I wouldn't trade them for the world."

Cory Giger is at 949-7031 and cgsports12@aol.com.