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The Rough Cut 2/25/11: The IMPORTANT film awards
February 25, 2011 - Keith Frederick
So the Academy Awards are on Sunday.
I propose we just forget the Oscars for the moment. Who needs ’em? Of last year’s top 10 grossing films, only “Toy Story 3” and “Inception” are nominated for major awards.
And forget the Razzies, too. The awards for the worst of the worst in Hollywood are just shooting fish in a barrel. No one thinks “Sex and the City 2” was anything more than a money grab or that Jennifer Aniston’s films in 2010 were respectable. The Razzies aren’t telling us anything we don’t know. So I propose a new awards show, with new categories, that really mean something to me, I mean, YOU, the people. So, without further ado, I present...
Harshest Mistreatment of a Legend Nominees:
Nominees:Harrison Ford, “Extraordinary Measures”; Jackie Chan, “The Spy Next Door”; Bruce Willis, “Cop Out”; Ben Kingsley, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time”; Cher, “Burlesque.”
Winner: Jackie Chan, “The Spy Next Door.” I think it’s clear that all of these stars need to be a bit choosier about their film choices, but Chan is far and away the winner. By starring in a movie that looks like an early ’90s Hulk Hogan vehicle, the martial arts master made his fans die a little inside.
Best Film Most People Weren’t Going to Understand. Ever Nominees:
Nominees:“Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World”; “Youth in Revolt”; “Red”; “Get Him to the Greek”; “Machete.”
Winner: “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.” Granted, these are mostly geektastic films that appealed to a slim market, but they were fine films. “Scott Pilgrim” was actually well-reviewed, but most people will never see it because it was a hard sell outside of fans of the comic.
Worst Adaptation of a Previously Existing Property Nominees:
Nominees:“The Last Airbender”; “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”; “Yogi Bear”; “Gulliver’s Travels”; “Jonah Hex.”
Winner: “The Last Airbender.” Make no mistake, “Jonah Hex” was horrid. But M. Night Shyamalan utterly destroyed everything that made the “Avatar: The Last Airbender” animated series so wonderful. To sum up: I am a member of a Facebook group that advocates lynching Shyamalan for what he did to this story. And, no, none of us thinks we’re overreacting.
Best Original Idea that Hollywood is Going to Try and Copy Until it’s Dead Nominees:
Nominees:“Inception”; “The Social Network”; “True Grit”; “Alice in Wonderland”; “The Expendables.”
Winner: “The Social Network.” Although I’m tempted to give this award to “Alice in Wonderland” — a dark adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood comes out soon, after all — or “Inception,” it has to go to “The Social Network.” With Fincher’s success at turning a guy sitting in front of a computer screen into a smash, you just know some Hollywood exec is looking at his web browser and drooling.
Movie Franchise Film that Most Deserved to Not Be Made Nominees:
Nominees:“Little Fockers”; “Shrek Forever After”; “Step Up 3-D”; “Saw 3-D”; “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Dawn Treader.”
Winner: “Little Fockers.” I despise the “Meet the Parents” film franchise. Absolutely despise it. That such good actors continue making this low-brow, poorly written schlock just boggles the mind.
Worst Film Trend Nominees:
Nominees:3-D films; 3-D conversions; 3-D ticket prices; 3-D concert films; 3-D.
Winner: Five-way tie. From poorly conceived conversions of 2-D films (“Clash of the Titans”) to needlessly 3-D animated films (was anything really gained by “Despicable Me” being 3-D?), 3-D is just a bad idea all around. But don’t try watching the movie without the 3-D glasses. Your eyes will explode.
Best Film Overlooked by the Oscars Nominees:
Nominees:“Shutter Island”; “Easy A”; “The American”; “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1”; “The Town.”
Winner: “Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows, Part 1.” I’m hoping — though I fear it’s in vain — that the “Harry Potter” films are going to get the “Lord of the Rings” treatment and finally get their deserved recognition after the final film has been released, later this year.
Mirror Staff Writer Keith Frederick’s column appears monthly in Go. He can be reached at 946-7466 or by e-mail at kfrederick@ altoonamirror.com.
Shyamalan, there will be a reckoning. Oh yes.