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Building bonds for 50 years: Local agency needs volunteers to mentor children

Courtesy photo Stephen Skibo (left) remains close with James Lowe, who served as a mentor with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Blair County program. The decade-long match led to a lifelong friendship.

Raised by a single mother, Julian Hatfield of Altoona wanted to make a difference in the life of a boy similarly situated. So he signed on as a mentor with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Blair County program four years ago.

The 23-year-old assistant men’s soccer coach at Penn State Altoona still is a “big brother” and says the experience has enriched him as much as it has his “little brother,” 11-year-old Keenan.

“He’s basically part of my family at this point,” Hatfield said. “My mom basically considers him another child. He’s touched everybody in my family.

“Growing up I didn’t really have a father figure in my life, so I know what it’s like not to have that male role model, outside my older brother. Nobody should have to go through that.”

Hatfield encouraged others to volunteer, and the BBBS is in the middle of a campaign begun in August called “100 Bigs in 100 Days.” Already 52 new volunteers have enlisted, and executive director Gail Clapper said she hopes the agency, which includes Blair and Huntingdon counties, gets another 48 “bigs” signed up by Nov. 22.

Mirror photo by Patrick Waksmunski Big Brothers Big Sisters program assistant Cassie Lewis makes homemade ice cream with Little Sisters Sue (center), 9, and Ashley 13, at the Big Brothers Big Sisters facility in Altoona.

About 80 children are waiting to be matched and that number will grow, Clapper said. The agency served 140 children last year.

The traditional match such as between Hatfield and Keenan, where they get together to play video games, shoot hoops or the like on their own schedule, is the most well-known. But there are other opportunities, such as site-based programs where mentors meet “mentees” for scheduled one-on-one or group activities that involve high school or college students or any community member. Another program is devoted to children of prisoners.

As a student at Penn State Altoona at the time, Hatfield explored the club program there — it meets at the nearby Hillside Community Church now.

“But when I had my interview with Shane (Fether, enrollment and match support specialist), and since I’m from Altoona and live here, we decided it would be better to get matched up right away,” he said.

Fether paired him with Keenan.

“It was awesome,” Hatfield said. “I have a little (biological) sister and an older brother, but having a younger brother was awesome. He’s like a little me. Shane found the absolute perfect ‘little’ for me.”

There is a process that helps make those matches work, Clapper explained.

It includes volunteers submitting an application and references and undergoing a background check for the protection of children. Any related fees are paid by the agency, which is funded by grants, donations and fundraisers.

An interview lets the agency learn the volunteer’s wishes and “assets,” along with logistics such as interests and location.

“We’re not going to match someone in Claysburg with someone in Tyrone,” Clapper said. “If a child is allergic to dogs, we’re not going to put him with a volunteer who has dogs.”

Children are interviewed, as well, to ensure that they want to be in the program and to determine their interests as well, she said.

Ideally, bigs and littles are matched by gender. But because fewer men volunteer than do women, the program will match boys younger than 10 with a female, according to Clapper. Additionally, a couple also could sign up to be a “big” together.

The 50-year-old agency — it expanded to Huntingdon 25 years ago — has research that backs up its success.

A number of surveys are done with the children, their families, teachers at school-based sites and volunteers and the results show positive gains for the children in areas including confidence, competence, caring, academic performance, attitude, avoiding high-risk behaviors and relationships.

“We are a proven research-based, outcomes-based agency,” Clapper said, pulling out pages of documentation.

She also wanted to dispel the idea that it will be time-consuming and expensive for volunteers.

“I think they think we’re asking more than we are,” she said. “Our mantra is ‘no cost, low cost.’ You start out with a big shopping trip or a day at DelGrosso’s (Amusement Park), that child might develop some expectations that are unrealistic.”

Playing board games, which are plentiful at site-based programs, is a great example of realistic.

“It’s amazing how much you can connect with a child just by playing a board game,” said Cassie Lewis, a program assistant.

Or meet in the library for some activity.

“It’s free and, hey, you’re getting them in the library,” Clapper said.

Other options include window shopping at the mall or taking a walk in the park. Or multi-task, for example, by taking the child to the hardware store to buy materials for a home project, she said.

The agency prefers the one-on-one gatherings be just that for the first few months — so emotional connections can be made — before introducing families. But eventually showing youngsters how to behave in social settings — saying “please” and “thank you,” and the “proper way to meet someone” — is encouraged.

“Nurture that child,” Clapper said. “We want mentors who think that child is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Make that child feel special.”

Mentors are expected to be consistent, meeting at least two to four times a month with their “little.”

“It can be an hour; it doesn’t have to be all day,” Clapper said.

And the agency expects at least a one-year commitment.

“If we have one-year, two-year matches, that leads to a lifelong friendship,” Clapper said. “We realize that everything ends, people move. But you have lifelong friends.”

That certainly has been the case for James Lowe of Altoona and Stephen Skibo, an Altoona area native who now lives in Glen Gardner, N.J.

At the age of 7 and with a mostly absent father, Skibo was signed up for the program by his mother in 1972. It was a life-changing decision.

For the next 11 years, Lowe mentored Skibo and treated him like family, taking him to Pirates games, bowling, fishing and BBBS events, including picnics where Skibo excelled at the sack and three-legged races.

“It was fantastic,” Skibo said. “When things are happening, you don’t see the benefits of it. You don’t realize at the time, but it was building character, morals, a willingness to give and share, be a part of a community.

“James Lowe shaped me into the man I am today.”

The father of three, ages 17 to 21, and a widower, Skibo said he turned out to be a “real good father, a good human being.”

The two have remained close, even after Skibo graduated from Altoona Area High School in 1983 and migrated to New Jersey for work. He returned to Altoona last weekend for the Lowes’ 50th wedding anniversary.

“He comes over every chance he can to see me,” Lowe said, adding that is proud of Skibo.

Lowe said having his own biological son about Skibo’s age made it easier to sign up as a mentor more than 40 years ago.

“I wanted to be able to do things with both boys,” he said. “He became like one of the family.

“I was hoping I could make a difference. … I loved the idea of being able to provide a male influence and trying to show him right and wrong, like a father would show his son.”

Similarly, Hatfield said he doesn’t see his four-year-old relationship with Keenan ending any time soon. He said he knows that he is helping to rebuild trust issues for Keenan, which is common for children who grow up without one or both parents — Keenan is being raised by his grandmother.

“I don’t see any reason to stop,” Hatfield said. “It’s just made me realize … how the little things in life can mean the world to someone else. The weeks I can’t make it to see him, it just crushes him. Knowing that I have that type of impact on someone else, it’s wild.”

Mirror Staff Writer Cherie Hicks is at 949-7030.

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